Empty Cradle, Aching Heart

Here is information to help you during the difficulties of infertility. Infertility therapy and counseling can offer support in this time of stress. The articles listed below can offer support and options.

When you long for a child of your own but the cradle remains empty, your heart aches.  Every month, each round of treatment, can be heartbreaking, cutting to the deepest part of your soul. All the tests and medical procedures you undergo require that you dissociate just a little from your body, separating your deepest emotions from the act of love. And this process of exposing and medicalizing the most intimate aspects of your life, can try your patience and strain even the best relationship. The longer treatment goes on, the more times you ride the roller coaster of emotions, from excitement and anticipation to frustration and grief, the more difficult it can get.

Studies by Alice Domar at Harvard University show that many people experience depression, isolation, anxiety, and feelings of not being in control when they are going through treatment for infertility. These same studies also show that cognitive-behavioral therapy can make a big difference—reducing distress, and sometimes even improving the chances of pregnancy and birth.  Contact DrSara for help navigating these trying times.

Listen to others share how they coped with unexpected challenges to creating a family in this New York Times special issue.  Or browse The Adoption Guide to increase your knowledge of a wide range of options. 

Many people feel isolated when they're going through infertility. After all, it's not something you just strike up a conversation about.  That's why the internet has become such a source of information and support.  Here's a list of support groups that might help.  And here is a list of books and other resources that can be useful.

As with anything in life, there are two sides to any choice.  Now that assisted reproductive technologies have come of age, we know more about the other side too--the ache that many donor conceived children feel at not knowing their biological parent(s). This film explores some of their stories.