Sex Matters

Sex really does matter.  When it is happening in a relationship, it only accounts for about 15% of relationship happiness, but when it's absent--or conflicted, it accounts for 75% of relationship unhappiness.

Low Desire

• Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages
  by Barry and Emily McCarthy
  Barry McCarthy is one of the foremost sex therapists writing today. This easy to read but very comprehensive book covers the most common causes of low sex and offers a practical approach to treatment.
• Passionate Marriage;  Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch
• This is a timeless classic and one of the pioneering works in the field written by one of the most experienced marriage and family therapists on the planet.  This book helps couples examine their expectations and develop the scaffolding they will need to continue deepening intimacy and keep sex alive and interesting for a lifetime together.
• Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex
  by Michael Castleman
  This is an excellent book for men to read. The front cover is evocative and the author is a reporter who spent some years answering letters to the editor of Playboy Magazine.
• Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
  by Esther Perel
  this engaging book is a must read for the couple that is very happy together but has lost some of their passion and vibrancy.

For Women Only

• The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion                     by Gina Ogden
• This book, written by a woman to empower women to move beyond shame, guilt, and cultural taboos to claim the fullness and vibrancy of their own sexulity by connecting mind, body, heart and spirit.
• Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women
  by Julie Heiman, Joseph LoPiccolo, and David Palladini
  Many women struggle with the personal frustration of not being able to experience arousal and orgasm and often this can cause distress in an otherwise satisfying relationship. This book offers a step by step guide for women to becoming orgasmic.
• For Yourself: The fulfillment of female sexuality
  by Lonnie Garfield Barback
  This book is a classic guide to helping women become more knowledgeable and comfortable with their own sexuality and learning to become orgasmic, with or without a partner.
• Sex Matters for Women: A complete guide to taking care of your sexual self.
  by Sallie Foley, Sally Kope, and Dennis Sugrue
  This is a candid book written to help women discover their own sexuality.

Just for Men

• The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition
  by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D
  The classic, and comprehensive, guide to male sexuality and male sexual problems available.
• Coping with Erectile Dysfunction: How to regain confidence and enjoy great sex
  by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy
  This is a must read for anyone seeking help for ED. Metz and McCarthy are two of the premier sex therapists working in this area. Their work is compassionate and helpful.
• Coping with Premature Ejaculation: How to overcome PE and Please your Partner and have Great Sex
  by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy
  This is a must read for anyone seeking help for PE. Metz and McCarthy are two of the premier sex therapists working in this area. Their work is compassionate and helpful.
• How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation
  by Helen Singer Kaplan
  Another classic in the field of sex therapy using a very positive approach to the intimate issue of ejaculatory control.

Sexual Compulsivity (Addiction)

• Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction
  by Patrick Carnes
  'Sexual addiction' is the metaphor we use to talk about the compulsive use of sex and orgasm to soothe anxiety instead of intimacy and closeness. Patrick Carnes is probably the foremost authority on 'sexual addiction' today. His books are enlightening, non-judgmental, and offer hope for those struggling to break free from addiction and those who love them.
• The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
  by Patrick J. Carnes
  Delves into the other side of sexual addiction metaphor – the 'co addict' or partner who remains in relationship with someone who uses sex for self soothing instead of intimacy.
• Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependent's Perspective
  by Christine A. Adams
  The writing style is not as enjoyable as Carnes' book but the content is similar.

Sex During and After Cancer

• Making Love Again: Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual Intimacy
  by Virginia and Keith Laken
  Virginia and Keith Laken are a married couple who share the story of how prostate cancer and its treatment devastated their marriage and the heroic struggle they went through to regain sexual intimacy.
• Up Front: Sex and the Post-Mastectomy Woman
  by Linda Dackman
  Author Linda Dackman tells the compelling story of how breast cancer altered her body image and hence her relationships and sexuality and how she struggled to reclaim a sense of sensuality and sexual vibrancy in the aftermath.
• Man to Man: When the Woman You Love Has Breast Cancer
  by Andy Murcia and Bob Stewart
  The authors, a policeman and a journalist supported each other through their wives ordeal with breast cancer and learned a lot about how to effectively support and advocate for their wives during the treatment process.

For Christians of Faith

• Sex is Holy
  By Mary Rousseau & Charles Gallagher
  For those who can get past the specifically Roman Catholic jargon, this book is a great primer on the orthodox Christian view of sexuality and the vibrant place it should hold in Christian marriage.
• A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy
  by Douglas E. Rosenau, Ph.D.
  This is a much more modern book about the positive view scripture holds of sexuality but is written by and for a protestant evangelical perspective.
• A Celebration of Sex Guidebook
  by Deborah C Neel, Douglas E Rosenau, and W. Ellen Fox
  The companion workbook for "A Celebration of Sex, by Douglas Rosenau.